When I get my name in lights!

I found myself thinking tonight at dancing that sometimes I just wish someone would take me aside and say something like 'Gee LJ, I really admire how hard you work in class' or 'You're so dedicated' or something like that. I sort of feel a bit unnoticed at the moment, not for any particular reason, just because. In the past I have always been totally just happy to even be there, to be given the opportunity to be doing something I love, but lately, I don't know why, I've gotten into thinking about it more. It happens every now and then and I have a big moan about it.

I am well used to it by now of course...it has always been this way, minus one or two fleeting moments. I think sometimes I just think about it a bit too much and that's when I get like this.

I guess it is no one's fault but my own...but yeah. Felt like I should do a blog about it. I comforted myself on the way home by reminding myself that one day I am going to be a success and everyone who I used to dance with and who never noticed me will be scratching their heads going 'Wow I used to dance with her...never thought she would become what she has'. One day I'm gonna make it big :o)


In other news...9 days til I go see Judith Lucy!

I'm a copy cat

I am so bored tonight and prcrastinating to such an extent that I am blogging purely for the purpose of blogging. And I'm going to copy what Rosanna wrote in her blog today which she copied from Anna, because, basically, apart from that fact I have sore sore sore feet thanks to tripping over my own thong today and from going for a run and getting bastard blisters, I have nothing to blog about. So I'm just going to do one of those little survey things everyone says they hate but they always do when they get emailed them ;)

Four jobs I've had:
1. Junk mail deliverer
2. Deli assistant (deli as in convenience store not feral Woolworths meat section)
3. Dance teacher
4. Waitress/barista

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. The Castle
2. Strictly Ballroom
3. Centre Stage
4. Amy
(oh and Love Actually, I can't leave that one out)

Four places I have lived:
1. Unfortunately I'm a boring person and I have only lived in one suburb my whole life.

Four tv shows I like to watch:
1. Blue Heelers
2. Frontline/The Late Show/D Generation/The Panel
3. Friends
4. Wildside

Four websites I visit daily:
1. TVAus
2. The bh.org forum
3. Blochworld (although becoming less frequent)
4. Australian Television and Information Archive

Four things I want to do before I die:
1. Attend an Olympics
2. Go to Paris and see the Moulin Rouge
3. Visit Manhattan, NY and live it up there, spending all my life savings and visiting all the places in the Home Alone movies and that I've always read about
4. Help others in a bigger way than most


So there you go, now you know a few more things about me. Woohoo for you.

Listening to: A Moment Like This - Kelly Calrkson - never get bored of watching this video montage featuring this song that has Carly Patterson winning the gold in Athens.
Support Barnardos Children's Charity www.barnardos.org.uk
Loving John Howards blog www.johnhoward.blogspot.com

Oh man!

Ahhh the frustration of blogs! You want people to read them, but then you don't, you want to name people in them, but then you also don't, and when you don't everything gets taken the wrong way and verything gets all screwed up.

This is partly an apology for Miss Pia...I hope you don't hate me. I am so weary of using names on my blog after closing down my last one because of too many people I knew reading it. And now I try to use as few as possible, but then that has now backfired on me too. If I had used names, or even just initials Miss Pia would have not gotten offended by my previous entry. Looks like I should start using initials again.

I have this constant fear in the back of my mind that whoever I mention in a bitchy sort of tone (or any tone that just isn't nice) will somehow find out and read the blog and then I will have scored myself a lifelong enemy with just a few taps of the keyboard. So in my previous post I didn't mention names, and just went ahead and was very very VERY general.

It was a vent, and I had to do it. Because I am a very...how to put it? A very, inner person. I don't say much of how I feel, or at least not out loud or in front of too many people, if I need to cry I cry when I'm alone and I battle on with any problems and just keep going. I think a lifetime of having to do this has perhaps made me a little stronger than others (or maybe not...I don't know, it's just a guess) and I have the ability to hold it in when needed. This occurred to me just tonight when at dancing RG had a bit of a cry and I was a bit mystified (as you do get when someoe cries out of the blue) and it occurred to me that I have never done that and probably never will cry at dancing (injuries excepted). I have wanted to before, absolutely, but I have always kept it in.

Anyways, getting off topic. I was pissed off at AW and LH and a few others at dancing the other day and that is what prompted me to write that blog. It was also in defence of you PM because you're a good friend and it offends me that they might talk about you the way they have and that your opinions and thoughts on the studio have now changed because of what has happened. I don't like people putting down my friends and that was the motive behind my last blog.

So just clearing the air...hopefully you'll forgive me PM! I honestly didn't mean it in the way you took it. I don't think you're whinging at all (and if you are, then it is totally, 100% justified) and I don't think you're paranoid or being unreasonable AT ALL! Hopefully I have explained things so that you and others understand.

I am just so over...

People being so immature and petty and pathetic. Honestly. Sorry, not such a nice start to a blog post, but today it has just made me really mad. Since Thursday night my Mum has been in the darkest of moods, seriously, it's like she's a different person. She's barely speaking and she's not doing a whole lot.I thought she'd finally cracked and decided to put her foot down and make us do our own washing, but turns out that was an incorrect guess. She and kyle have had a 'disagreement' as she put it and are not speaking. This I had no problem with, they have had disagreements before. Who cares. But the fact that she is being so dark and depressing is just giving me the shits. That's fine if she isn't speaking to Kyle, but doesn't mean you have to stop speaking to the rest of us! Last night she went to bed without giving me a kiss (something she has never ever done in my whole life) and I barely heard her 'goodnight' as she closed the study door and walked away. Like dude, don't take it out on me! This is the problem with my Mum, if she's in a bad mood she puts everyone else in a bad mood too, and it really gets to me...so much so that I avoid her so that she is unable to put me in a bad mood.

And then there's a select few girls at dancing who are also giving me the shits because they are being so immature and petty. I just want to screech my head off at them and tell them to start acting like bloody adults. It's no excuse why they're being such losers. They just need to get over themselves and accept that not everything can go their way. Life's like that, deal with it. It's not all a bed of roses ffs! They just have no consideration for others, and think the dramas in their lives (which really, cannot be called dramas) are the worst in the world and all that matter, when reall they have it pretty sweet. I just want to yell at them to stop being so petty about things and just dance and give up their conspiracy theories and pathetic immature politics.

Oh yeah and I am so over channel 9 showing so little of the gymnastics and so much of the bloody swimming!

Bah... now I am in a bad mood. I better go and watch some Blue Heelers.


P.S Glad you liked my previous entry Rosy! :o) I posted just that one verse because that is my favourite of them all.

In the spirit of the games

I just thought I'd post a little verse I have really come to like the past week or two since hearing it in the ad on tv for the Indian Pacific to tour 'the land you'll never see'. And coupled with me being the proudest damn Australian right now and feeling so patriotic thanks to our amazing athletes in Melbourne, I'm going to post it.

I Love a Sunburnt Country

I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of drought and flooding rains,
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel sea,
Her beauty and her terror -
The wide brown land for me.

Nothing much to report

Nothing much. I should be in bed, because it's midnight and I have to leave home at 8am to get to the library in the city where we will be having my authorship and publication class tomorrow. But I just felt like blogging.

Today has been ok...work made it better. This afternoon I had to go to the doctor to get tested to see if I have the blood disease that Mum has. It's in her gene's and Kyle and I both have to get tested to see if we have it. I had blood test after blood test but won't know the results until next week. The doctors were nice though, and said that it looked good and that I might not have it becuase when I was having my blood taken it was flowing super fast (as it always does) and Mum's flows super slow, which is a good bit of evidence that I don't have the same type of retarded blood that Mum has.

Anyways, after that I went to see if my dvd player was repaired and ready to take home. Turns out though that the laser in it that reads the discc has failed and to repair it would cost like $150 and so I was told I might as well just buy a new one, which I was not expecting at all! It is so new, and I am so disappointed that it has died so soon! I have missed out on the warranty by just three short months - dammit! So tomorrow I am off to buy a new one. They are as cheap as chips these days anyways so it's not such a big deal, and Dad found one in a catalogue tonight for Big W for only $48.

Anyways, after all that disappointment I was happy to get to work and see Sarah. her and I are such good mates now, we are always laughing and joking, it's great. And yesterday, just as a random comment, Sarah was like 'I haven't had jelly in SUCH a long time' and I was all 'Nah me neither!' and then I was like 'You'll have to make some and we can eat it tomorrow night.' And then I get to work today and she was like 'Larissa! You're here! (cos she hangs out for me to get there at 5pm cos she starts at 11am and says she's always bored until I get there at 5pm lol! Don't I feel special!) Guess what! I made jelly!' And I just pissed myself! I didn't think she would actually do it! Anyways, we went into the fridge and there was an icecream container of red jelly. It didn't really set so we put it in the freezer but it's still dodgy. We're going to leave it there til Saturday and then eat it there on Saturday. I hope it doesn't start to taste like sausages - because that's what it's sitting right next to in the fridge! lol! And I said in case her jelly doesn't get any better (and I really don't think it's going to set anymore - she must've put too much water in it I think) I am going to make green jelly tomorrow and bring it in to work on Saturday and then we can eat red and green! We are the jelly queens! lol! So work was so fun tonight...every half an hour we were rushing into the fridge to see if the jelly had set yet!

Anyways, I have more to say but I'm going...I don't want to be falling asleep in the library tomorrow. Or maybe I do....hmmm it's going to be all about research. How yawn worthy! Only good thing will be that me and Suzanne and Rachel and Tegan are going out for lunch afterwards I think, which will be nice, even though I'll probably just be wanting to get home out of the heat (and to make my jelly! rofl!).

Listening to: A Place in the Sun - Hoodoo Gurus - Little Fish soundtrack
Loving: That Australia is currently on top of the medal tally - 3 gold, 4 silver and 4 bronze! And that in the women's 200m individual medley tonight we got 1 2 3! Gold, silver and bronze in one hit! Go Australia!
Help those parents out who might be having a bit of a toruble. Support the Ngala Family Rescource Centre www.ngala.com.au

You awake champ?

Those were the words that were in a text Kyle sent me at 3:20am Saturday morning. The message tone bleeped me awake and when I saw those words I thought 'Omg he better just be at the back door wanting me to unlock it and let him inside'. So I staggered out of bed and opened the back door only to find no one there. Three texts later I was pulling on a jumper and some pants over my pyjamas and getting in my car to pick him up from Scarborough :o

And then...Brindy wouldn't start (which I only figured out why the next day..but that's too much of a blonde moment to discuss here) so I was tramping backwards and forwards, going back inside to get Mum's keys to the Rav, unlocking the Rav, then remembering I needed P plates (even at 3am I reckon police will be out...and I'm too scared to even speed. It's just a paranoia thing I have going on. A fine is the last thing I need), so heading back to my car to get the spare P plates from the glove box, then starting up the Rav, all this time trying to make as little noise as possible. I was just waiting for Mum to come outside with her hands on her hips to ask me what the fark I was doing.

So got away without anyone coming outside to tell me off, got to Scarborough, thinking the whole way 'I am such a good sister I am such a good sister I am such a good sister' and found Kyle waiting not at all where he said he would be (grrrr) and proceeded to experience the drunk half of my brother for the first time all the way home. It actually made me laugh a bit...he and I act so similarly when we have had a bit to drink! LOL! He told me all about how he saw Donna (an ex who was practically my age and was friends with one of my friends from dancing) at the Lookout and how she has 2 kids now and is only like 21. He couldn't get over that, even when I told him that it does happen. It was so funny...he was all 'Having two kids is just...not cool'. He is so unprepared for adulthood, even though he is already in it, lol! Anyways, I suppose he was just talking out of his arse cos he was smashed.

Anyways, he was all 'why are you speeding?' as we turned into our street. 'Do you want to get back to bed or something?' and I was just like 'What do you reckon?' Honestly...men! When we did get home I was all 'You owe me...big time' and walked half asleep back into the house. Funny thing is, I was half asleep on my way to pick him up that I barely heard the radio, but when I crawled back into bed at 3:50am I could not stop singing the Nickelback song that I remember being on the radio at the time in my head! Ahhh annoyance! I didn't get back to sleep for more than half an hour! And my tag of my shirt annoyed me the whole time because when I peeled off my jumper to get back into bed I somehow turned my shirt around so that it was around backtofront. And I put my pyjama pants on inside out when I put them back on. Who can see these things in the dark? Hmm that's how half asleep I was and how much I wanted to get back into bed.

Anyways, that's my good deed for the year, lol!

It's cut!

Yep the hair on my head is now shorter, layered and has more highlights. It's maybe a bit shorter than I wanted but I can totally live with it. Hair grows. Get over it. I love the colour and the shape, even though the fringe isn't what I wanted it to be, but then I realised that I just don't think my hair can do that. Either way, I'm waiting for it to let go of it's just washed frizzy as all hell look so I can see what the cut looks like normal. Should be able to see tomorrow or tomorrow night.

Work was so blah tonight. It was busy as, and I'm so over Kalee's every single day PMS and the fact Emma is such a slow learner. I feel like I'm doing her job and mine. Like she stands right next to me when I'm making coffee when there's an order right in front of her for a coke or a milkshake and she doesn't even go to get the coke or make the milkshake, even though she knows how (still, even then she's still like 'Is it one scoop of milk?' which she has asked me every single Thursday night for like 4 weeks now). But then if I tell her to do it I feel rude and mean, even though I know if I don't say anything she'll never learn.

And then tonight we were so busy and Rob was not around so it was just me and her out the front and I was in the middle of trying to do a million things and she's like 'Can you get the till? I want to show Miriam my ball photos', and I nearly fell over. Like it's fine that she wants to show off her ball photos, but honestly, not now! Like it was the middle of her shift - you just don't do things like that.

I really think to work in this business you need to be fast and reliable. You just cannot do things slowly, it just doesn't work. You need to do everything at maximum speed in order to keep everyone happy and everything in order and you simply cannot fluff around showing off ball photos to customers or making yourself a milkshake or flittering over to someone like me every five seconds to ask how much we charge for a can of coke or a southern special ffs! I just want to bash into her everything she needs to learn sometimes, honestly!


Enough ranting, I'm supposed to be finishing this Media blog entry for uni and then going to bed. Before I leave though, I just anted to report that my diet plan is back on track :) I am back to the weight I was in January which was my lowest to date and I have this new drive that's making me say no to junk food and yes to exercising, and it's working :) YAY!

Oh the drama of it all

A short post tonight...I am choofing off to bed soon to watch my tape of Dancing With the Stars, but I did want to do an entry so everyone didn't think I was dead. This blog has been screwing up lately which is why I haven't been posting...it all started I think when I went onto PM's blog and left a comment there. It must've been too much for blogger to handle, lol.

Anyways, the delightful Rosy fixed it for me and now here I am. Thanks a bunch Rosy! :o)

I have been busy though as well. Uni has started again and I am still dragging myself out of bed three days a week before 8am which is killing the me that lives to sleep. My classes are ok...I didn't think the Reading Media Texts unit would be so bad until I found out my lecturer and tutor (it's a freakin' 3 hour lecture! Torture!) is Dr Ash. Again. Blah! So it feels like Lit all over again and I so detest that! I picked all my units with this hate in consideration and I thought I'd escaped it! But nooooooo. Although, as boring and falling asleep as my class was on Tuesday we did get to look at some of the ourageous in your face ad campaigns Bennetton and Barnados have run over the years. Scary as!

The rest of uni is good, no assignments due for a while so I can continue to be a bit of a slacker. Dancing is good although just tonight Wednesday night jazz was canned thanks to the majority of the girls being so unbelievably undedicated and voting to have it canned. I'm so disappointed in them - to me it just means they don't love dancing enough to want to come to 2 jazz classes a week. But I won't go into it now or else we'll be here all night.

Brindy (my car) had her first service today :o) And doesn't she sound better for it! No waking up the whole neighbourhood when I turn on the ignition! Still, there are some bits and pieces that will need to be done to it within the next month or two. Nothing major, nothing huge, nothing expensive, just a few things. It's not going to die tomorrow so I can put it off (and save the money for it!). But basically they said my car is in excellent condition, which was such a relief.

Tomorrow is one of my two days off from uni and I am getting my hair cut - hurrah! I am thinking of being different and actually doing something exciting with my hair. I'm thinking of a fringe. never ever thought I'd go back to that but I do want my hair to look nice :o( So I reckon I need to do something like that. Will report more after tomorrow though. In the mean time I am just looking forward to sitting in a chair for two hours having my head massaged and primmed and prepped!

Listening to: Goodbye My Lover (omg song of the moment for me! I can't stop listening to it)
Give kids a voice, support Kids Helpline www.kidshelp.org.au