More funnies

Just a random piece of laughter cos I have always found this hilarious (It helps I suppose that I am from Perth myself, so sorry all you readers who aren't lol) and cos it is 1:%0am and I should be in bed and I can't be bothered writing a proper blog post.

Perth School Humour


So, just how many people does it take to change a light bulb? We put the question to the students of Perth, and here's how they replied:

Aquinas - Two. One to mix the martinis and one to phone the electrician.
Kelmscott High - Eighteen. One to notice it is broken, one to tell the teacher, one to write permission slips for the students, one to get a new bulb, one to get a chair, one to replace the bulb, four aboriginals to walk past and abuse the bulb changer, six students to swear at the aboriginals, one to suspend the abusers, and one to write the suspension notices
Gosnells High - 76. One person to throw a chair and break the bulb, one to be hit by the chair, one to call that guy a dickhead, one to stab the name caller, twelve aboriginals to start stabbing everyone in the class, thirty two police to control the aboriginals, eight paramedics to treat the injured, three to counsel the students, one replacement teacher, two security guards to secure the classroom, one to see the broken light bulb, three to hold up Corfield deli for a new globe, and one to replace the broken globe
PLC - One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
MLC - Four. One to smash the glass ceiling so that they can get to the top of the ladder, one to install the globe and two to check that it's brighter than PLC's.
Guildford Grammar - Two. One to change the bulb and one to crack under the pressure.
Perth College - Depends, could be one, could be ten, no-one is prepared to commit unless the Guildford Grammar boys are definitely going to be there.
Governor Stirling Senior High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get high off the old one.
St Hilda's - One. She'll put through a call to maintenance staff because there's no way she's going to do manual labour.
Hale - Two. One to install the new bulb completely powered by testosterone and one to brag about it loudly.
Murdoch Uni - Six. One to change the bulb and five to support its sexual orientation.
Mercedes College - Five. One to change the bulb, two to reassure her that she doesn't look fat at the top of the ladder and two to circulate photos showing that she does.
Kwinana - Twenty. All Aboriginal. One to hijack the Transperth bus to get to the Hub to get one off of another whose just held up the store at knifepoint and stolen it, six to surround the bus from the Hub and 'smash' anyone who looks at them funny, whilst calling them 'white cunts', one to bash the security guard who turns up at the school suspicious, and one to install the light globe. He then pisses on it and short circuits it, and another ten have to start the process again coz the others have nicked off into the bush with some cones and a jerry can.
Trinity - Sixteen. One to send out the invitations, two to get the beer, one to change the bulb, one to buy Ralph Lauren polos for everyone, two to smuggle the chicks in and one to keep watch for the boarding master. The second eight just need to be ready to back them up.
Swan Valley Christian School - Two. One human and God just to make sure the light shelters all in need, whether it be for food, shelter..blah blah f**kin blah...
Curtin Uni - Five. One to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, two to install it and one to write the computer programme that controls the switch, one to rig the vending machine
Safety Bay Senior High School- Eight. Six crazy girls dressed in black, and war paint on a mission. One doing the happy-dance, one driving the getaway vehicle, one holding the spray-paint cans, one saying how light bulbs are dolphin-friendly, two on the lookout, talking gibberish... then we run up & spray-paint the table, umm I mean change the light bulb... and two teachers to walk past saying Make sure u don't get any paint on those clothes."
St. Norbert College - Everyone. A group in the toilets to break the blue light so they can see their veins to shoot up.The staff to announce the breakage in the bulletin. The P&F and Student Council to organise a fete to raise money for the bulb over a period of ten years with an added 'bulb levy' on school fees. The Norbetine brothers to officiate the bulb-changing ceremony in front of the school body at which a speech is made on how the change has affected the school and its spititual journey.
WAAPA - Five. One to change the globe and four to do an interpretive dance about it.
CBC Fremantle - None. They're all too drunk to notice.
Edith Cowan Uni - Eleven. One to change it and ten to share the experience.
Applecross Senior High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to write to the Sunday Times about how she did it as well as any private school student. Or none because everyone was killed when the buildings fell apart.
Swanview High - None. They're all down at Midland station having a ciggie.
Eastern Hills Senior High - Ten. One to change it and one to buy the hair gel to impress and ultimately lay the SwanView chicks, while the rest compete wiv da Christian Bruvvers for da turf Midland Station.
Mirrabooka High - None. That hole looks better in the dark.
UWA - Fifteen. One to change it and the rest to walk around as if they own the place and talk it up.
Bond Uni - Two. One to change it but only after the other one has found an interpreter to translate the English instructions.
Central College of TAFE - 20. One to change the bulb, two to pop down to the markets to buy wool to make a macrame jacquard shade for it in the new season's colours, one to photograph the naked bulb in - situ from 300 angles, three to arrange the art exhibition for the jacquard shade, the rest to make vapid comments and drink Great Western 'champagne' at the opening. Muresk Agricultural College - Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the globe's right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest.
New Norcia College - None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall even if it means standing in the dark.
St Brigid's College - Five, one to screw it in, two to laugh about the word screw and two to message the Mazenod boys about it.
Mazenod - Three, one to get word around that the St Brigid's girls are talking about a screw, one to replace the bulb and one to pray that they get it done in time to beat the local public school boys to the St Brigid's party.
Christ Church Grammar School - None. It's too hard to find a new globe with their Armani sunglasses on.
Prendiville - Seven. one to insist it doesnt need to be on and the other 6 to continue their deviant sexual behaviour.
John Curtin Senior High - Two. One student and one teacher but not before they make out. Balga Senior High School - Five. One to change it and four to cruise the street for the perfect Puff Daddy style outfit to steal off someone to wear for the occasion.
Bunbury Senior High - Five. One to change it, and four to go to Target and nick new flannelette shirts to wear for the occasion.
Girrawheen Senior High School - Ten. One to change the bulb, two to negotiate a pay off to rival gangs to prevent anything going down during the change and the rest to stake out just in case. Mirrabooka High - Nobody bothered to ask because nobody cares about Mirrabooka High Rockingham Senior High - Six. Two to break into the store, one to steal the globe, one to install it and two to help him reach the socket using their pregnant tummies as steps.
Notre Dame Uni - None. They brought notes from their guardians excusing them.
Perth Waldorf Steiner School - One, because she's a unique, self motivated, individual.
Penhros - Three. One to change it and two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place afterwards.
Perth Modern - The entire school. One to remove the perfectly good globe, two to work out how to dispose of it so that it's dolphin safe, one to replace it with candles and the rest to sit on mats and express in words and music how they feel about the change.
St Mary's Anglican Girls School - The girl who answered the phone said she was pleased to be included with the other schools but probably would never know the answer because her Daddy had said to phone immediately if the maintenance man made any disgusting suggestions.
UWA Conservatorium - Forty Three. One to change the globe and a 42 piece orchestra to accompany him.
Iona Presentation College - Two. One to change the bulb and one to phone daddy to pay for it. Scotch College - Three. One to put in a formal complaint about the imposition, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn't half as bright as the light shining from their arses.
Balcatta High - Four. One to order a Venetian chandelier from her cousin Roberto who owns a lighting warehouse and imports from the old country, one to arrange delivery cause his sister's husband Tony has an uncle whose mate, Angelo, has a truck, one to put the squeeze on his neighbour Dominic the electrician because he owes him a favour and one to make sure everything is done cash.
Maddington Senior High School - fifteen. Ten are needed to break into a house steal a light bulb, TV, VCR, Playstation, stereo and anything else that fetches a good price from the local dealer, and five to break into the school change the light bulb and again steal anything of value.
Lumen Christi College - none, they'd just ignore it and put it on the list for everything else to be fixed.
Thornlie Senior High School - go after someone else, stab them for the light bulb then defend it in your "territory".
Winthrop Baptist - Two. One to change the bulb and one to make sure that Somerville doesn't 'borrow' it.
Somerville Baptist - None. It's Winthrop's building. Emmanuel Catholic College - None. they're all too busy staring at the yr 10 babe's g-strings.
John Forrest Senior High- None. You don’t need light globes on a cricket pitch.